Well, if you were single and you had a dating profile what would be your self-description?
I’d be like, “I like to take a long walk along the beach and…” No, that’s not even true. I don’t know. I like to eat food that is fast, that you don’t have to sit around and fucking wait for. I don’t like to go to the grocery store at all, so if you want to be one of those fucking couples that makes a chicken with all these vegetables, side fixes, fuck off. I’m not doing that. Maybe if you date a girl that wants to go to the grocery store, that’s what Kira does, then that’s fine. I’m not going. I hate going in there. Because you go in there, even with a list, and you end up looking at the, oh well here’s the canned vine leaf rolls or, oh, the asparagus is so cheap today—I’m not into that.
So when you’re by yourself and no restaurants are open but you need to cook, what’s your go-to meal?
Uh, usually I just eat a cold can of Chef Boyardee ravioli from the corner store.
Oh, that’s honest.
It’s tight, yeah. It’s okay.