You cannot enter into this shit until you have:

-fought with each others’ parents
-been to the hospital with each other
-seen each others’ doody
-taken a clump of her period-soaked discharge-laden public hair out of the drain
-Sat in front of her on the couch with your shirt off and squeezed your belly flesh together so that she has to view the Hairy Bagel
-talked about which lies you want to tell your children
-talked about whether if you have a boy you’ll cut the tip of its dick off
-talked about Christmas and America
-disclosed whether either of you is gay
-broken up and gotten back together or at least been on the ropes
-Picked your nose in front of her while listening to her boring stories
-made a joke about her grandma blowing you
-Lived with her and seen what a cunt she is
-…and the fuck FARTED in front of her MANY fucking times.